did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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