this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
