I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
