did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
