is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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