9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
