I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
