Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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