VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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