it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
