I think I am morally bankrupt
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
