just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
