I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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