We got so high we made milksteak
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
