I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
