The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I just went to clothing optional bar
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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