what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
