I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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