Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
