I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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