you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize