To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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