In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
