We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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