i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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