You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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