It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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