somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
