we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
