so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
