Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
