dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
