Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
