While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
