I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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