Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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