you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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