the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
