I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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