Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
worst night to have a conscience
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
