I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
