Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
