i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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