YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
