I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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