I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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