I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
