Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
