I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
