finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
