Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
