i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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