this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
