i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
