she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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