I'm jealous of your bromance
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
