This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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