I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
