aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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