It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
